The key to finding a good therapist is YOU – who you know yourself to be, how you navigate the world, your relational ”style,” and what you want to accomplish in psychotherapy. Finding and working with the ideal therapist for you can seem like a daunting process. Don’t lose hope! It can be frustrating at times, but with some basic information (and self-knowledge), I’m certain you can find the best therapist for you.
Below are some things to consider in your search. Feel free to contact me if I can be of any assistance in your journey. I welcome meeting with you if you want to explore whether or not you and I are a good match.
Where to Start
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Where to Start
The best place to begin your search is to speak with people who know you, care about your well-being, and may be able to refer you to a psychotherapist. Many health care providers maintain a list of mental health professionals just for such reasons. Friends and family may also know or have worked with a good therapist. Lawyers, spiritual leaders, teachers, and even your barber may know of a wonderful therapist. Just ask. Above all, make your initial decision based on recommendations from people you trust. Often certain names keep coming up in conversations as you speak with others about your search. That is a good indication that they are “well thought of,” and respected in the community.
Online searches can be helpful too. In today’s digital age, many therapists in private practice maintain a website to provide current and prospective clients information about their practices. Check them out and see if you sense a “fit.” While it will be more informative to speak with the therapist on the phone or by meeting in-person, their on-line presence can give you some indication if you want to pursue connecting with him or her. It’s a good place to gather information about their qualifications, training and education, and to see if they have any clinical expertise with the issues you hope to address. Your intuition will guide you well.
Psychology Today’s online Therapist Finder is a great resource in that regard. It provides options to view the professional profiles of many therapists in your area. It’s a good way to get a thumbnail sketch of qualifications and availability. Many routine questions (such as if they take your insurance, number of years in practice, education, etc) can be answered by simply clicking on their profile.
If you want to use your health insurance for services, you can check the behavioral health listings online. Go to your insurance companies homepage, scroll to behavioral health, put in you zip code (and how far you are willing to travel) and you can get a list of in-network providers. Not all psychotherapists accept insurance for payment, so inquire about whether a psychotherapist is on your insurance plan. Most, if not all, therapists have a self-pay fee schedule and will work with you regarding payment options. Some insurance companies will reimburse you for all or part of the fees for out-of-network providers. Please click HERE to learn more about insurance coverage for mental health services.
Basic Questions
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Basic Questions
Certain questions are a natural part of your search for the ideal psychotherapist. What gender would you prefer to work with? Where is the location of the office? How are fees structured? What is the therapist’s theoretical orientation? What is the therapist’s level of education? Does she maintain her state license as required by CA law? Does he have experience with the problems you want to resolve? How many years has he been in practice? Does she have availability that matches your own? If they are important to you, be sure to discuss issues of race, religion, ethnicity and/or lifestyle.
No question is “wrong,” especially if YOU feel it is important to your decision-making process. Simply ask your questions and observe how the therapist response. Not all therapists will answer all questions (and that is not a bad thing). Sometimes, certain therapists are trained to deflect questions (not always a good thing). However, a competent therapist will inform you of why they may defer some questions until they know you better. At this point in your search, it is all data to help you tease out overt mismatches. Simply make note of any response and use it as part of your evaluation of the therapist. It will also be important to observe how you feel while talking with the therapist (more below).
Many questions can also be answered via on-line searches, especially if the therapist maintains a practice website. Sometimes navigating a therapists website is all you need to decide if you’d like to meet with that person or not. Again, trust your instincts.
I encourage you to ask the therapist anything you feel is important and relevant for you to make the best decision. The important thing to remember is that all questions are valid, and a competent therapist will explore your questions and concerns with respect, dignity and thoughtfulness.
Don't hesitate to call
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Don’t Hesitate to Call
After you’ve compiled a list of potential therapists, call them! Find a quiet time in your day to call each prospective therapist. Try your best to have privacy and not feel rushed. Remember, you are making an important decision, and you deserve to engage in the process with calm and focus.
Trust your instincts. Pay attention to how you feel as you hear the therapist’s voice (or read their website). What kind of feeling do you get from the initial phone conversation? Does the therapist seem serious, intelligent, experienced, attentive, committed, and eager to help? Are you treated with respect and courtesy?
It will be natural to feel nervous, awkward or even a little weird when first speaking with a prospective therapist. Just notice your thoughts and feelings. Try not to make self-judgments; just be aware and curious about what’s going on inside you. If you are doing psychodynamically-oriented psychotherapy, you may want to consider writing down your thoughts and feelings as you approach the first session (to share with the therapist, if you so wish). Making note of any dreams, especially those the evening before a session, could also prove helpful. Regardless of your therapist’s theoretical orientation, he or she will most likely be interested in your pre-session thoughts/feelings and will want to explore them to serve you in your therapeutic journey.
By using the telephone you can reduce the list of possible therapists, making this the quickest and least expensive way to narrow your search. Call each person on your list and find out more about them. Take notes! After you’ve spoken to the people on your list, give yourself time to think about the process. Who stands out in your memory? Who made your feel most safe and understood? Who seemed to listen with compassion and thoughtfulness? Who had the most qualifications that you feel important? Who seemed rushed or impatient?
If you can, talk about your experience with someone who cares about you. In the end, trust your instincts and your own internal wisdom. If more then one therapist seems a good match, its time to meet them in person. It’s valid to “therapist shop.” Let each perspective therapist know that you’d like an initial in-person consultation. Most therapists understand how important it is for you to connect with the best possible therapist for YOU. In fact, research shows that the interpersonal “fit” of therapist and client is often the most important factor of a positive and productive therapy. Any competent therapist will welcome the opportunity to meet with you, even if you are not quite ready to begin the formal work of psychotherapy. Again, trust your instincts and use the meetings to help narrow your search. The best therapists will even help you with a referral to another colleague, if you feel that you are not the best match for each other. Most licensed and well-trained therapists are willing to help people connect with the best resources in their community.
Success
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Success
Congratulations, you are almost finished in your search to begin your therapeutic work!
The decision to be in therapy can be a life changing process. Finding the right therapist is the first step in this journey of self-discovery and personal growth. It may take several “false starts,” and you may find that you have to meet several therapists before you find the best match for you or your loved one. In the end, the right “match” between you and a therapist is a mix of many things: trust, rapport, humor, their training and experience, location, affordability, and simple human compassion. Take your time to find the right therapist and you will find that the time and effort put into the initial search will have huge payoffs—both inside the consulting office and in your life and relationships.
